I'm listening....

As I lay in bed last night I was overcome with lots of things.

Last night was kickoff night for the ROCK.

First night in 6 years that I don't have a middle school kid.

Sami was there, Scott was there and I was there. Trace wasn't. And I missed him. A new chapter has begun in his life. He's growing up and I was beginning to feel like an outsider looking in. But last night we talked, about his day, about his friends, about nothing at all and everything. And then he said something and I was reminded that as long as we have these moments I will never by an outsider to his life. A reminder that he is still my boy and still needs me. Even when he acts tough, even when he acts like he doesn't.

I'm listening....

And then there is Sami. A girl who I thank God everyday is not the girl I was at her age. She has a love for Him that amazes me. And yet there are still so many things that break her heart. Saturday night she got the text that no 16 year old should ever get. Her friend and classmate since the 7^th grade died. So, for the last couple of days we've been walking with her. Talking to her, but allowing her time to digest all of this. For the most part she has been silent. Because that's how she deals. And tonight, when asked how she was doing, she said something that told us what we already knew. She's hurting, she's confused and has many questions. Some that will never get answered while on this earth. But in a quiet moment after I was reminded that she will be ok. It will be rough for a while, maybe even a long while. But one day she will come out of this sadness.

I'm listening....

In small group tonight we went around and said our “popcorn” prayers before going our separate ways for the night. One of the girls said a prayer that floored me. I looked up to make sure I heard correctly who it was. If it's even possible my heart sunk and was lifted at the same time. It sunk over the fear, and hurt that is in her life right now. And it was lifted hearing her say it out loud. That for the first time since she walked through the doors she layed it out there. She was honest with herself and to God.

I'm listening....

God....
I'm listening.....

I'm listening to the unspoken words.

I'm listening to the spoken words.

I'm listening.

And when I don't listen. When my crazy life gets the best of me. Remind me of this night. And remind me that more then anything...You are listening.